REALITY CHECK!

Saturday, 21st January, 2012
I had my husband take some before photos (yesterday) of me just to remind me NEVER to get to this weight again.  I asked him to make sure they looked 'disgusting'.  He showed me the first pic which was just a front view - it was OK, I didn't mind, after all, it was going to be the last time I look like this!

I decided to download the photos and have a look at them today - SHOCK HORROR.  I can't beleive I actually look like this, I was, and still am, mortified.  No wonder I'm so lethargic and tired all the time.  No wonder I'm so depressed!  What a terrible reminder this is.  I think I'm still in shock because I didn't think I looked that bad for my weight of 110kg.  It's really funny how you do see yourself isn't it?

I have been on my pre-surgery plan for 5 days now and enjoying every day.  Seeing these photos will NOT deter me it's only making me stronger to beat this and come out the other end as a renewed person.  I am more focused than I was 2 days ago now.  Isn't that amazing?  I am looking forward to having no more back pain, I'm looking forward to being able to crouch down again,  I'm looking forward to going into a dress shop and buying what I want, not asking what the largest size is in the store.  I'm really looking forward to being able to wear a dress again as I only wear slacks.  I'm looking forward to cleaning out my wardrobe, I'm looking forward to getting some nice underwear!  I'm looking forward to getting my energy back and being able to work easier in my large garden.  I'm looking forward to wearing a swimsuit and feeling great about myself.